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September 19, 2006
The Bible doesn't say Christian couples can't enjoy sex or sex-tech
I think that the above title pretty much says it all -- But it is not a lurid message in the least. Pastor Joe Beam of Family Dynamics is trying to point out that it is not a sin in a loving Christian marriage to have and enjoy sex. He backs up his message with book, chapter and verse in the bible. Much of his audiences are married conservative Christians.
There seemed to be a sense that he was giving a sense of relief to those who might already be having sex, and feeling guilty; or permission to those that feel it might be a sin but are interested. He is not giving or suggesting carte blanche, and lays out some rules that basically must be followed -- no one can get hurt, between married couples, no animals, etc. Does not believe that pornography and to a lesser extent masturbation should play any significant role if at all in the sexual relationship even if done together.
Before I read the article I was thinking that it might be someone on the fringe trying to come to get out a sex positive message. This is sex positive but it is also not a fringe perspective. The audience definitely was not.
This obviously deals with adult themes so be warned before looking at the videos of this talks and interview. Article and video on MSNBC. Article and video on Wired.
Tags: sex, conservative, conservatism, morality, marriage, relationships
Posted by mlwhall at 1:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 15, 2006
Bittersweet
Today is Wednesday was a little bittersweet. It was my 20th wedding anniversary. My wife and I are headed towards divorce (and have been separated for over 2 years). We have managed to keep things relatively good. And I think that it is a little more than just doing it for the kids. I think there is an underlying compassion that has not been there for a while. Since the relationship is not going back towards marriage it is transforming into something else.
I hope that we will become better friends since that was the way we started. The last year or so, we have managed to keep it positive. And have been communicating quite a bit. Ironically, we have spoken and e-mailed each other quite a bit this week. Ostensibly because of the kids. The kids started school last week. Though I think there has been a little bit of reflection also. It is kind of funny, we have managed for the most part to have a kind of split kind of relationship. We relate reasonably well, and at the same time do not bring up the legal stuff, and try to (within reason) leave it up to the lawyers. I am hopeful for the future as our relationship grows in a different direction. Onward and upward!
Tags: relationships
Posted by mlwhall at 8:22 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 11, 2006
Strands of Understanding or Clarity?!?
As is suggested in my Bio, I am a single father of three kids (Grant, Rachel, Paige), two dogs (Scruffy, Sakima) and a kitten (Simba). I live in Napa, California (USA). I have a girlfriend of two years, Svea. This, I suppose, is the beginning of one strand.
Maybe it will be the beginning of getting some clarity or meaning in my life. Maybe it will also help me identify what my faith or spiritual journey is or is going to be. A strong "faith" has not been a major or even minor part of my life. I would say that I am not without questions and desire for something as yet undefined. However, I would say that I am a "spiritual" person, but it is difficult to build a community with others in this area if one cannot easily define themselves in relation or context with others.
I find myself looking for and needing a sense of community, and it does not seem to be popping up in other areas. Work, kids, even external family. Exploring faith is a place where people of different backgrounds can come together and explore and hopefully add meaning in their lives. I see my meaning coming from more than a faith focus. But this seems to be one area that is calling to me.
I am trying to be careful not to talk about religion. While that is an obvious subtext to the above, I have had some mixed experiences relative to organized or institutional religion. I find that adding that view just gives me too many reasons to abort exploration. Having a love of history that includes some of the actions taken in the name of religion is enough to make many people do an about face. At the same time, it is difficult for me to deal with people that have unquestioning faith. Faith for me is about a journey. Someone that blindly walks the path is just as easy to veer from it. Checking for directions seems to me to be a good thing.
As is suggested in my Bio, I am a single father of three kids (Grant, Rachel, Paige), two dogs (Scruffy, Sakima) and a kitten (Simba). I live in Napa, California (USA). I have a girlfriend of two years, Svea. This, I suppose, is the beginning of one strand.
Maybe it will be the beginning of getting some clarity or meaning in my life. Maybe it will also help me identify what my faith or spiritual journey is or is going to be. A strong "faith" has not been a major or even minor part of my life. I would say that I am not without questions and desire for something as yet undefined. However, I would say that I am a "spiritual" person, but it is difficult to build a community with others in this area if one cannot easily define themselves in relation or context with others.
I find myself looking for and needing a sense of community, and it does not seem to be popping up in other areas. Work, kids, even external family. Exploring faith is a place where people of different backgrounds can come together and explore and hopefully add meaning in their lives. I see my meaning coming from more than a faith focus. But this seems to be one area that is calling to me.
I am trying to be careful not to talk about religion. While that is an obvious subtext to the above, I have had some mixed experiences relative to organized or institutional religion. I find that adding that view just gives me too many reasons to abort exploration. Having a love of history that includes some of the actions taken in the name of religion is enough to make many people do an about face. At the same time, it is difficult for me to deal with people that have unquestioning faith. Faith for me is about a journey. Someone that blindly walks the path is just as easy to veer from it. Checking for directions seems to me to be a good thing.
Tags: faith, strands, CSR, critical self reflection, religion, spirituality, meaning
Posted by mlwhall at 2:59 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Some Beginning Threads
As is suggested in my Bio, I am a single father of three kids (Grant, Rachel, Paige), two dogs (Scruffy, Sakima) and a kitten (Simba). I live in Napa, California (USA). I have a girlfriend of two years, Svea. This, I suppose, is the beginning of one strand.
Maybe it will be the beginning of getting some clarity or meaning in my life. Maybe it will also help me identify what my faith or spiritual journey is or is going to be. A strong "faith" has not been a major or even minor part of my life. I would say that I am not without questions and desire for something as yet undefined. However, I would say that I am a "spiritual" person, but it is difficult to build a community with others in this area if one cannot easily define themselves in relation or context with others.
I find myself looking for and needing a sense of community, and it does not seem to be popping up in other areas. Work, kids, even external family. Exploring faith is a place where people of different backgrounds can come together and explore and hopefully add meaning in their lives. I see my meaning coming from more than a faith focus. But this seems to be one area that is calling to me.
I am trying to be careful not to talk about religion. While that is an obvious subtext to the above, I have had some mixed experiences relative to organized or institutional religion. I find that adding that view just gives me too many reasons to abort exploration. Having a love of history that includes some of the actions taken in the name of religion is enough to make many people do an about face. At the same time, it is difficult for me to deal with people that have unquestioning faith. Faith for me is about a journey. Someone that blindly walks the path is just as easy to veer from it. Checking for directions seems to me to be a good thing.
As is suggested in my Bio, I am a single father of three kids (Grant, Rachel, Paige), two dogs (Scruffy, Sakima) and a kitten (Simba). I live in Napa, California (USA). I have a girlfriend of two years, Svea. This, I suppose, is the beginning of one strand.
Maybe it will be the beginning of getting some clarity or meaning in my life. Maybe it will also help me identify what my faith or spiritual journey is or is going to be. A strong "faith" has not been a major or even minor part of my life. I would say that I am not without questions and desire for something as yet undefined. However, I would say that I am a "spiritual" person, but it is difficult to build a community with others in this area if one cannot easily define themselves in relation or context with others.
I find myself looking for and needing a sense of community, and it does not seem to be popping up in other areas. Work, kids, even external family. Exploring faith is a place where people of different backgrounds can come together and explore and hopefully add meaning in their lives. I see my meaning coming from more than a faith focus. But this seems to be one area that is calling to me.
I am trying to be careful not to talk about religion. While that is an obvious subtext to the above, I have had some mixed experiences relative to organized or institutional religion. I find that adding that view just gives me too many reasons to abort exploration. Having a love of history that includes some of the actions taken in the name of religion is enough to make many people do an about face. At the same time, it is difficult for me to deal with people that have unquestioning faith. Faith for me is about a journey. Someone that blindly walks the path is just as easy to veer from it. Checking for directions seems to me to be a good thing.
Tags: faith, meaning, values, family, religion, sprituality
Posted by mlwhall at 2:56 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
September 7, 2006
'House' of Meaning
I swear that I usually do not watch that much TV and more importantly, I do not tend to get heavy messages from them. However, I was just watching the season premiere of the TV show, House. The title of this episode was 'Meaning'. I guess the backdrop was how we often get meaning where we want to. Other than being a big part of my professional background (values and meaning), it seems to be a big part of what I am trying to figure out for myself. Many things that I have taken for granted, and assumed that at some level to be a foundation or rock. This foundation, and other stuff is moving -- one might say that it is moving far out of my comfort zone. I find that while a number of my values have stayed the same, that I allowed myself to ignore them. I have gotten to a place where I am not entirely trusting what is important and what is not.
My search for meaning seems to be centered on faith, risk and vision. I have many other values that are part of me, but these seem to be swirling around me at the moment. Belief and philosophy are part of this also. I am not sure where all this is going to land me, but I feel the need to express some of these ideas. I have had many ideas and issues (particularly unresolved ones) on my plate. It is through discernment and striving for some clarity, that I hope to get this. As I said before, I might not be totally making sense, but as I get things out, I hope it will become a little more clear.
Tags: house, fox, philosophy, risk, faith, vision, meaning, belief
Posted by mlwhall at 11:46 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
'Bones' and Faith
I would say that in many ways that my approach to faith has been a lot like that of Dr. Temperance 'Bones' Brenning on the Fox TV Show, Bones. (Bones is a forensic anthropologist on loan to the FBI for certain cases.) If it is not logical or tangible, then it must not be 'real'. She and her brother were orphaned at a young age (or so they thought). But it turns out they were not, and that her mother's remains are found. And it is likely that they (the parents) were on the run in some fashion. So fast forward a few episodes and (unrelated to the story line) she is brought by one of the other characters (Seely Booth) to the grave site. She is awkward and her clinical nature gets in the way. But ultimately she begins to ask some of the questions to which she wanted the answers.
Without going into my fascination into these types of shows (CSI(s), House, Bones, etc.) I think this almost clinical approach to religion has crept up from past. I am a 'PK' (or preacher's/priest's kid) -- there is some similarity between PKs and Army Brats. (My father's an Episcopal/Anglican priest.) As the generalization goes, usually you either end-up cynical, or religious; wild or quiet, etc. I kind of went the cynical and quiet route. I suppose if this type was actually act out too much they would. It does not allow you to get to sprititual or faith bound for a good part of your life. But as soon as add this idea of spritual there seems to let in the idea iof god some other supreme being. The logic side takes a lot of time debunking all the possibilities. It creates conflict. I think that I am going through this conflict at the moment.
Tags: csi, fox, bones, faith, religious, spiritual
Posted by mlwhall at 11:31 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack